the human body is truly an amazing thing. the ability to create and grow a child within you really is nothing short of magical. it’s not only a miracle to get pregnant in the first place, but the realization that a tiny human is developing inside of you and all you have to do is keep on living, eating, sleeping and breathing, is incredible. this experience for me, the experience of growing a child, has filled me with such intense and comforting emotions; the emotions of impending motherhood. i am no longer terri the wife, daughter, sister, friend. i am now terri the mother and i have never been more proud or excited to embark on any other chapter of my life.
i have always believed that my one true purpose in life has been to become a mother and raise a family of my own. this belief is now, finally, turning into my reality. thinking about the sleepless nights, expected tears and how life will be forever changed does not scare me in the least. i am ready for this. i am ready to give my life fully to my child. to love, protect and care for him/her always.
the second trimester has returned my energy and motivation and for that i am so grateful. i was very fortunate to have a fairly easy first trimester, no bouts of nausea. however, the fatigue i felt is incomparable to anything i’ve thus far experienced in my life; it makes sense though as every ounce of my being is going into creating this tiny beautiful baby. i experienced the tender, swollen breasts (as i’m sure all you mama’s out there can relate to) and the occasional food craving (fried cheese curds anyone?), but aside from that this whole pregnancy thing seems pretty simple to me.
as the weeks pass and my stomach slowly continues to stretch i can’t help but anticipate the arrival of our sweet child. is it a boy or a girl? what will he/she look like? will she have kyle’s eyes? will he have my nose? there are the occasional worries as well, are our finances in line? how will i be able to go back to work? will i be a good mother?
i think the last question has scared me the most since finding out i was expecting and i’m sure i’m just one of many mothers who have had this feeling; will i be a good mother? over the last couple of weeks i have really reflected on and thought about this and a couple days ago i was provided with some clarity to it all. it wasn’t anything anyone said or anything that I did, but just a sense of relief that came over me. i will do everything i can to provide for and love this child and that is enough. that is all anyone can expect. i am enough. and all you expecting mommies out there, you are enough too.